Men’s grief

Men's Grief

When you turn on the TV, or listen to the radio, or surf the web, or drive along the road, there’s advertisements for drugs (no, not the illegal ones). Pills – prescriptions – Dr. recommended. Want to lose weight, take a pill. Want to fix your kid, take a pill. Want to feel young again, take a pill, et cetera, et cetera.

How are pills and men’s grief related, you ask? Stay with me.

As I’m now near approaching, or actually in, the second half of my life, things are changing. My body is changing. Strength, energy, drive, motivation. After a workout, it takes me longer to recover – much longer. Some mornings I wake up sore from nothing. My overall energy level is, well let’s just say, less.

Relative to the changes in my body, I’ve decided recently to see my urologist for an issue I had waking up several times a night to pee. After some conversation and one truly uncomfortable test, we learned I have an enlarged prostate. Nothing to be overly concerned with – something that comes with age for some men (many men). Guess what? They have a pill – two actually, for two different solutions. Or, I could live with it.

I bring this up because that evening, as I sat in a circle of men, I talked about my sadness and grief around getting older. How the prime of my life is behind me. How the speed of light seems to have multiplied as the years go by ever so faster than before. Being a father, this has become so much clearer – watching my son turn 5 when he was born just yesterday.

Sadness. Grief. No Pill.

As I finished my conversation, I learned that many men – men who are in the autumn season of their life – relate. Many men feel the sadness of what once was. Many men grieve what they have lost. Many men do this alone. Why? Stigma? Taboo?

I appreciate modern medicine. I respect the science and reap the benefits from it. I also respect for some things, I don’t need a pill. I simply need someone to listen, to hear, and to empathize with my grief. I know I’m getting older. I know ‘That’s Life.’ What I want you to know is that I’m sad and I really just want to be heard.

I’m sad of my new and ‘enlarged’ awareness of my limited time on this planet.

No pill – just grief.

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